Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Proof of Evolution in Action

Nope, not a post about the Darwin awards.

But I've realized something about evolution or intelligent design or whatever you think led to our current state of development.

Temperature. Body temperature to be exact.

See, I'm almost always comfortable, unless it's about 115 F or below about 20 F. Today it was 35 F and I went out several times in just office clothes, I mean after a few weeks in the teens and 20's, 35 F is almost HOT.

But a lot of times, women come up to me to warm their hands (or other body parts) on me. Because to them, I'm warm.

Think about it. The typical scenario has a girl putting her hands or feet on her man to warm them up because she is always colder than him. If the guys are comfortable, odds are the women think it's too cold in the room.

Which leads to the connection of evolution.

Before we had houses and electric blankets, we slept on the ground or in caves, or in the case of stranded tourists on a 3 hour tour, in hammocks.

Women were cold, and would snuggle up to a man to keep warm. The men got sex in return, leading to the next generation of people.

So men provide heat to the women, women provide enjoyment for the men, babies give science a reason to invent tylenol.

Think of it this way. If the situation is reversed, with men feeling cold all the time and women are comfortable in almost any temperature.

End of mankind in two to three generations. There is no way that government birthing programs could keep up with the current standards of reproduction. Or we'd become a society run by women with a few men kept as breeding stock.

Because women wouldn't need men anymore.

Women have careers now, pay their own bills, own houses, and vote. So other than for companionship and children, they don't really need us, except to keep their feet warm.

Hell, feminists already realized this 30 years ago. They aren't very good at getting out the message. If women didn't feel cold, they'd just have a girlfriend over for companionship, and we men would be sitting on the end of the couch shivering, because she wouldn't want our dirty cold feet on her.

So, proof of evolution/planned design. That women get cold and trade sex for the warmth of a man. I wonder if in the case of single gender relationships, if one partner typically feels warmer to the other. This may lead to a greater understanding of evolution in general. Maybe what really caused the end for cro-magnon man was warmer homo sapiens and all the cro-magnon women went to live in the homo sapien camps.

Darwin missed this important point, it's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the warmest.

Mind readers

Women can read our minds.

Course it's simple, as Jeff Foxworthy said "Most men are thinking I'd like a beer and to see something naked"

I have a very close lady friend that has known me for many many years.

A recent conversation went:
Her: I know what you're thinking
Me: What am I thinking?
Her: You're thinking about my boobs.
Me: Right. Now what am I thinking?
Her: About wanting to have sex with me.
Me: Got me there. Now what?
Her: About wanting to have sex with that redhead over there.
Me: You should get a psychic hot line. Now what am I thinking?
Her: About wanting to have sex with me and that redhead together.
Me: This is uncanny. Now what?
Her: About wanting to have sex with me and that redhead together and we're... No, stop thinking that, it's not going to happen ever.

Yup, women can read our minds.