Friday, August 04, 2006

Music Videos and Women

Friend and I were discussing how the women he's been dating lately suffer from TWS ("Trophy Wife Syndrome"). And the attractive ones aren't all that attractive, like as a trophy wife, they'd be more Honorable Mention or Participant trophys, not First Place or Grand Prize.
So we discuss how the homely, less attractive girls tend to be more career oriented, while those with TWS think that they don't need to work once they have a steady man, because they want to move in and just live off him. So I figure it's those damn music videos.

Stay with me.

Music videos don't show homely chicks in long pants with nasty hair and messed up teeth dancing with Busta. They show the hot chicks in thongs and bras getting gold, gems, a Lexus, and a big fancy house where Busta/Jay-Z/Shaq/Clay Aiken/Barry Manilow/Liberace.... Ok maybe not Liberace. But the hot girls in the video get it all. And the homely ones work the food cart behind the last trailer where the set painters eat lunch. (Those that aren't out of work due to file sharing pirates)

So now, the hot girls have been taught by 25 years of MTV that if you're good looking, some rapper/movie star/internet millionaire/Donald Trump/Manager of a Denny's will pick you up at some club, take you away from your miserable job at IHOP, and set you up in luxury as long as you don't sign that Pre-Nup and live in a community property state. SO you can divorce him after he finds that girl with THS (Trophy Ho Syndrome) and take half his stuff, half his future income, and drive around in his Lexus while you complain to your old girlfriends how hard it is for you to live on $250,000 a year and you're lawyer is going to get you more after you and your lawyer get back from that business trip to Cancun to "depose" the former maid that you paid under the table not to talk about what she saw you doing with the pool boy.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, TWS, so the cure for TWS is simple. Fathers need to dump reality on their daughters when they turn 16, no car unless you get a job, no cell phone unless you get a job, no victoria secret Pink lingerie unless you get a job. To cure TWS, we all need to teach the hot girls that they need to work in life if they want anything. So fellas, stop giving stuff to your TGS (trophy Girl Syndrome, not transgender sister, you can still send her stuff, I mean, really, who else would?).

So in summary, TWS is a real problem that thankfully has real solutions. America, we can overcome this global plague and end TWS in our lifetimes. Give now. Or, I mean, stop giving now. But they have to keep giving or they don't get given, or got. Hell, you know what I meant.

Zeb Out.