The Wii as Weapon

After seeing the damage that people are doing to their homes, TVs, friends, loved ones, and themselves, I've come to realize that the Wii must be a secret Japanese weapon. It's no coincidence that it was launched a month before Dec. 7. Just look at the destruction this thing is causing. I'm glad that I can't get one, I don't want to risk my TV or my friends and furniture. Mark my words, the NSA must be investigating this sneak attack. It looks like nunchucks, flys like a ninja star, and breaks knees like an Italian enforcer. (But seriously, who plays in heels? Not me, not just because I'm a guy and don't wear heels, but I also don't have a Wii. Nintendo, if you want to send me a Wii, I'd play it one time in heels for a promo, if I get a free Wii. But I want one of the non-weapon models, I like my TV.)

Or is it just a ploy by Nintendo to drive sales of new televisions? If it was Sony, it would be obvious, because they even had some retailers tie Playstation3 pre-orders to big screen Sony Tv purchases.

It won't be long before we start seeing news stories where gangs of hoodlums are robbing people using the wii controller. "Don't make me do it man, and if you run, I can throw this at you!"

Now Best Buy is withholding their Wii inventory until Dec. 17th. To launch their last big weekend before xmas, or to partner with Nintendo in a massive Wii controller assault on America's familys and their televisions on Christmas?

Be ready America! Don't shoot until you see the whites of their controllers!